I played with helium for the first time in my life yesterday. It was probably the most fun thing I've done for ages.

I'm definitely sure that I joined the right CCA now. I'm thankful for the people in Softball. I can't imagine what life would be like if I never met them. I'd probably be bored every single day. I'd have no one to talk to when I feel like crap. Softies ftw.

Now I can't wait to play with Helium again. :D

The gathering with the Bintan people was great. Crashing photos. Taking photos. Eating. Messing around. Takes the term "camwhoring" to a whole new level. I had fun with I-don't-know-whose DSLR, now I can't wait to get one of my own. :O

15th March please come sooner.

"You're all that I hoped I'd find, in every single way. And everything I would give, was everything you couldn't take."

I guess some things just can't be helped.

Today, I was on a roller-coaster ride.

It started off pretty low, and it stayed at that level for a while. Then it went up a little bit, but after a while it went back down. After that it went even lower, the lowest I've ever been to. But after that it went really high! The highest I've ever been to as well. But now.. the roller-coaster has gone off the tracks. It's crashed in the lowest pit on Earth. I wish I never came to this carnival in the first place.

I'm not feeling very optimistic.

And I'm feeling like crap now. The worst I've ever felt. What's best is that I don't know why I feel like this.

Or maybe I do - I just don't wanna say it.

A little something that Zan showed me this morning. I think it's something like... words which describe people who are born in a specific month.
Here's what it said about me, a March baby.

MARCH:

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partner. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

Lol. If any of you know me well enough, you'll realise that almost everything is true! It's scary. Lol.

I'll sum up what I wanna say in one sentence.

I'm very tired, my work is piling up, and I feel like crap.

.. and now i don't wanna talk to anyone.

I'm sitting on my bed, near the television. My phone's charging - it's low on battery cause I've been listening to music and texting pretty much the whole day. I'm thinking of what to write in the text message but my head seems blank. I've been stoning since I left school. I don't realise where I am or what I'm doing sometimes. I try to come up with something nice to say, but nothing's being typed into the phone.

The window's open, the breeze is blowing in. I enjoy the moment - it's not often that I sit on my bed, by the window. I realised that there's a star in the sky. Just one. A very bright one too. I look at it, and after a while I find myself staring at it for some unknown reason. It offers a small sense of comfort. A sense of wonder. A sense of hope that there are some good things out there. I look at the phone, the text message is still not typed. I look out the window again, and I continue looking at the star.

The wind starts to annoy me, and I get off the bed. I walk towards my computer, which has been playing music for the entire time and I click on the mouse. I type some words, and this entry is written. I plan to do some work today, some chemistry. Maybe some economics. I look at the phone, and the message is still not typed. I still don't know what to say.

And that is how I spent the 20th night of 2009. This is probably the dullest entry I've ever written.

But I like it.

Miserable at best - Mayday Parade.

I've listened to Mayday Parade for quite a while now, but I just found this video today. It's a sad song, a very sad song. The video kinda makes it a little bit more depressing.

For those of you who have not heard the song before, give it a listen. Listen closely, and figure out the lyrics. Then you'll realise how sad the song is. Enjoy.